


The Most Tragic Interhouse Love Story of All Time

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-24
Updated: 2013-09-24
Packaged: 2017-12-27 12:25:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/978847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaworu and Shinji's romance is a beautiful flower amidst thousands of painful thorns, a single calm spot in the middle of a turbulent ocean. It is even more romantic and tormented than Romeo and Juliet's love story, and Asuka could care less. She's got her Herbology grade on the line, and it would be really great if Shinji could stop moping for five minutes to help re-pot their stupid shrivelfig.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Most Tragic Interhouse Love Story of All Time

Shinji’s heart was breaking. Kaworu was simultaneously so close and so far, not even half a classroom away, but the colors on his tie displaying a loyalty so impossible to move past that he might as well have been on another planet. Even worse were the Slytherins on either side of Shinji, both of whom were often openly scornful of Hufflepuff, and thus Shinji himself. How was Shinji supposed to be able to approach Kaworu, talk to him, all the while knowing that Kaworu’s entire house found him detestable and unlikeable? There were so many obstacles between them, so many reasons their love was terrible and forbidden, and as much as Shinji wanted to close the gap between them, he knew, in his heart of hearts, that it was completely insurmountable and utterly impassable —

“Will you stop making doe eyes at your boyfriend for five minutes and pass me the pot, idiot?” Asuka asked from his side, rolling her eyes as Shinji jerked up in his seat. “Unlike some of us, I’d actually like to get a passing grade this year.” Asuka and Shinji had been Herbology partners since their first year, when Professor Kaji had assigned them all to interhouse pairs. At first Shinji had been put off by her often over-aggressive nature and her frequent insults, but over the past four years they’d established an odd sort of camaraderie that had evolved into an even odder friendship. The insults hadn’t stopped, though.

Shinji turned red and muttered, “Sorry,” as he passed her the requisite item. Asuka simply rolled her eyes as she violently uprooted her shrivelfigs, aggressively shoving them in the new pot before starting to shovel dirt on the roots.

“You could help, you know” she said, as she violently shoved some dirt into place around her poor plant. Shinji meekly scooped up a handful of dirt to place around the root as he attempted to avoid Asuka’s angry shoveling. “Honestly, I don’t know what your problem is, you moron.”

“I know,” Shinji agreed, head drooping a little as he continued, “It’s dumb, a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin will never work out—”

“Oh my  _god_ ,” Asuka said, raising a hand to rub her forehead. Shinji thought about mentioning the strip of dirt she left on her face, but thought better of it when she glared at him. “I was talking about how you keep letting everyone boss you around. I mean, really? I get that Hufflepuff is the wimpy house, but this is kind of pathetic.”

Shinji scowled. “I’m not  _that_  pathetic,” he muttered, pushing dirt into place with a bit more force than necessary. “I know all the other Slytherins hate me, okay? It doesn’t make things easy.”

Asuka rolled her eyes and gave an exaggerated huff. “Who cares? You’re being stupid and making this all out to be a bigger deal.” She waved her spade in front of his eyes. “The only thing worse than a Mudblood is a spineless Mudblood.”

Pushing the spade away, Shinji muttered, “Just because you don’t have any sense of decency —”

Asuka’s fist on his arm was painful but not unexpected — Shinji’d gotten his share of bruises from her over the years. “Ow!” he yelped, rubbing the sore spot. He didn’t care if being in so much pain after getting hit by a girl made him wimpy; Asuka hit harder than Toji.

As if summoned by Shinji’s cry, Professor Kaji materialized right over their shoulders. “Is there a problem?” he asked, placing a hand on either of their shoulders and flashing a winning smile. Shinji could practically see the hearts in Asuka’s eyes.

“No sir!” she said, smiling charmingly back at him. Shinji snorted, and under the table Asuka’s heel found Shinji’s foot. As she ground painfully into his toes, she continued, “We were just messing around.” She giggled, as Shinji’s toes slowly began to go numb.

The intense pain in Shinji’s foot kept him from responding to Kaji’s “Well, alright. Just try to keep it down.” Kaji ruffled Asuka’s hair and gave Shinji’s shoulder a reassuring pat as he left. It was only when he was on the other side of the greenhouse that Asuka finally relented, daintily crossing her ankles under her robe and giving Shinji some measure of relief.

The relief didn’t last long. “But seriously,” Asuka said, fixing him with her most deadpan stare, “You’ve managed to snag the guy that all the Slytherin girls voted Hottest Pureblood in our year and you still can’t even meet his eye across the classroom?” She gave the dirt around their shrivelfig one final, violent pat, before finally relenting and placing her spade down. “I mean, really, there are limits to how pathetic someone can be.”

Shinji sighed. “It’s not that simple,” he muttered, brushing the dirt from his palms onto his robes and ignoring Asuka’s pointed glare at his now discolored clothes. “Maybe if he wasn’t a Slytherin, or if my mother had been a witch….” He stared mournfully out the window. Asuka used the opportunity to steal his handkerchief and wipe her hands off with it, before throwing the ruined fabric back into his bag. “Besides,” he added, cheeks red, “we’re not even boyfriends. We’re just good friends. Kaworu-kun doesn’t even like me like that, I never ‘snagged’ him.” The bell rang, and they both grabbed their bags and started out of the classroom, a careful distance away from Kaworu.

Asuka couldn’t even bring herself to laugh at that. “So what was that time I found the two of you just staring into each other’s eyes at the library?” she asked as they trekked through the snow.

“I — we—” Shinji sputtered, before his eyes narrowed and he hissed, “We weren’t  _staring into each other’s eyes_ , Kaworu-kun wanted to work on his Legilimency and I wanted to help him!”

“And that time Toji found you guys holding hands?”

“Kaworu-kun was just handing me a paper!”

“And it took you fifteen minutes to take it from him?”

“I- Why was Toji watching us hold hands for fifteen minutes?”

“So you admit it!” Asuka crowed as they started up the steps to the Great Hall, unwinding her scarf as she went. “You  _were_  holding his hand.”

Shinji sighed and buried himself a little deeper into his own scarf. “Fine, yea, we were.” Shinji shrugs. “I dunno, though. I think he just feels bad for me, and that’s why he’s always doing things like that.” He paused. Before Asuka could say anything, he continued, “I just….I just can’t understand why he’d like me, out of everyone.”

“You and me both, moron,” Asuka replied, “But whatever. Point is, he’s really into you.”

“I—” Even Shinji’s ears were turning red. Asuka had the absent thought that if he didn’t take off his scarf soon, he might pass out from heatstroke. “You think so?”

“…He’s got a framed picture of the two of you by his bed.  _Yes_ , I think so.” Shinji’s gaze had turned all inwards and contemplative,  _again_ , so when Asuka spotted Kaworu nearby, blessedly alone, she took her chance and nudged Shinji in Kaworu’s direction. “Just go talk to him, stupid!”

Shinji stumbled forward, but before he took two steps, he turned back to glance at Asuka. “Um.” He swallowed visibly. “Thanks, Asuka.”

Asuka could feel her face heat up. “Shut up, you moron, just go talk to him! Stop stalling!” Shinji smiled at her again, before running to catch up to Kaworu. Asuka waited until she saw Kaworu take Shinji’s hand and walk with him out to their next class before going on herself.

She smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> someone on tumblr posted sorting headcanons so i took it and ran with it  
> asuka&shinji is brotp man


End file.
